I had every intention of posting earlier tonight, however, I was having some technical difficulties with our internet (meaning I couldn’t get a connection and didn’t want to blog via blackberry!) So here I am now!!! I am going to be posting in the evenings this week because I am in courses tomorrow and Wednesday (and I was today) and then Thursday and Friday should be busy catching up on my regular duties at work…plus, you know, I should be working not blogging while AT work, right?
So, I have been a bit down lately…not just the funk that I have been in for the past while…but a new one as well….a bit of a trapped feeling actually…
Lately, I find myself focusing a lot on the negative aspects of my hometown…the lack of places to eat/shop/entertain, etc. For instance, if we would like to go out for dinner our choices are: Boston Pizza, Moxies, the Keg and Earls (oh and Montanas)…that’s kind of it unless we want fast food or pub grub. If we want to go to the movies, we have ONE cinema (with 6 theaters in it) – if a new movie comes out we either have to brave the crowd for the TWO evening showings or sit back and wait…if we want to shop…well, we don’t have much…we have a walmart…we have an EB games for the husband…no futureshop or Best Buy, no Costco, no Old Navy…nothing!!! We don’t have a Gap or a Banana Republic, I shop a lot at Rickis because that’s pretty much all we have (well, we have Bluenotes, Reitmans, Le Chateau, La Senza, Garage and Suzy Shier…but you know what I mean!)…
We also have one ice cream place, well 2 if you count the crack store downtown…maybe they don’t really sell crack, but it’s a little shifty…the other one is Dairy Queen and it’s usually packed…
We have one dog park for poor Charlie, and it’s only fenced on 3 sides…we don’t dare take him there because we would probably never see the poor beast again!! We have like 8 months of (COLD) winter and we have these massive giant bugs that I like to call Tarsand beetles (but I think they are actually called Spruce Beetles – and don’t click on the link if you are squeamish or don’t like bugs – CREEPY!!!)
Anyway…so yes, that is an AWFUL lot of negative…what are some positives??? Um…we are the old roosting places of country singers Aaron Lines and Craig Moritz…um…Natasha Henstridge also came from Fort McMurray (in grade 10 I actually had her Biology book!! and I kept it…oops!)…we have BEAUTIFUL northern lights…and we also have the Oil Sands which is kind of bittersweet…
Me and the Husband have a lot of things that we wouldn’t have elsewhere…we were lucky to be here living rent free with his parents and we were lucky to buy our trailer right before the boom which led us to our beautiful house…that is one of two things keeping me here, our beautiful house and, more importantly, my beautiful niece…combine that with the fact that the husband would love to give it a good go here, it causes me to feel trapped…
I told him the other day that right now I would give up all the money in the world if only I could be happier…I have learned in the past year that work just isn’t as important as I once put it…that one day when I am very old, I will never wish that I had worked more in my life, it would be all the experiences that I missed out on that I will be regretting at that moment…I want to live somewhere I can buy fresh produce, somewhere that I can run and pick up essentials without having to drive 5 hours, somewhere I can have a good time and try new places that aren’t big box/chains…I want someplace where I can walk to the store and not be chased down by huge pickup trucks (I am sure that happens everywhere though)…I don’t know, I just want somewhere new and exciting!
******EDIT: The comments coming in are GREAT! I just thought I should add here – I am not harping on anything that I have…I am definitely appreciative of what I DO have, and like everybody else, I am looking at what I DON’T have – THANKFULLY it is not a material possession that I seek…I have lots of those and they aren’t making me any happier…
My town is tailored to one thing: work. It’s made for worker bees. We don’t even have enough businesses to support the population we DO have because it’s SO transient (and we have so many work camps) that the census is always skewed by about 20,000 people…that’s a lot…if you figure that we have half a dozen good places to hang out…figure out how many people that is at each one??? AND I am sure the girls heard me comment about the Tim Horton’s lines in TO!! Anyway, so all my wonderful things that I have here would definitely be coming with me…I would just hopefully be enjoying them with a much better view around me!!!
Keep in mind…I have lived in this city for about 24 years…I have had 2 breaks away from it in my life and when me and the husband moved to Lethbridge, that was probably the best 2 years of my life…I agree with Ang, the grass is always greener, and I might be clinging to memories at this point…I just loved the view, I loved the size…I loved that there was a park with a lake right across from where I live, a place I know that Charlie would love to run around in…you know??? Anyway, sorry that was a LONG edit!!! (I should also add that Lethbridge OFFICIALLY had about 12,000 more people than Fort Mac…but it FELT bigger and had a lot more to it…and people could afford to own the little ma and pa shops without paying ridiculous rental fees!!!)
***Back to regularly scheduled programming***
So we came up with a deal that works for the both of us…it’s a compromise to both of us and I think it will be good in the end!!! It is all situation dependent, I am intentionally withholding information…it’s just that right now, neither of us know what is going to happen…but we came to the decision together and we chose something that makes us both happy…secretly I am hoping I get my way…but who wouldn’t??? Either one of my choices involves extremes geographically…so take from that what you will!!!
And thanks for letting me get this off my chest!!! It feels so much better “writing” it out there!
Tell me what you love about your hometown!! You just might convince me to move there ;p
14 Comments
July 7, 2009 at 4:17 am
Hmmm. Well, I live in Calgary, but I think I’d move if I could and my husband was willing. I don’t hate it or anything; it’s just getting too big for me. It does, however, have all the things you want. Restaurants that aren’t chains, etc. (although some of them are pricey!).
I am from a small municipality called the Crowsnest Pass, which is about 2.5 hours southwest of here, near the alberta/b.c. border (but the CNP is in Alberta, no matter what anyone tells you!). It is beautiful, and I love it, but there is not much there. It was a big deal when they got a Tim Horton’s.
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July 7, 2009 at 4:26 am
I’m sorry you’re going through such a rough time my dear…. I know that you’re a city gal at heart and it must be really hard for you at times to not have the ‘world’ at your fingertips, but honestly….you DO have amazing things….You have your gorgeous home, and your amazing husband, your fur-babies, and great friends…even if we (I) am so far away. Sweetie, I am here for you every single day, no matter what time…and you can always pick up the phone and call me anytime that you’re needing a friend. I know that doesn’t solve the issues of living in a small town, but it’s something.
And if you don’t mind a little sprinkling in the winter, I know one city where you’d already have built in friends/family who would welcome you with open arms….
July 7, 2009 at 4:27 am
ok…that beetle just made me leap…..I’m ssooooo scared of bugs!!
July 7, 2009 at 11:24 am
You’ve been to my town. What’s not to love?
July 7, 2009 at 12:38 pm
In some respects “the grass is always greener” but you never know for sure until you’ve experienced the other side. I can understand your discontent with living in a place as you’ve described it. I’ve never been, but SIL lives waaaaaay up North and to hear of her talk about the fact that it’s a huge treat for her to have Cheez Whiz easily accessible not to mention fresh produce, blows my mind. She doesn’t mind it, but its certainly not a life for us.
Soon enough you’ll be able to experience a glimpse of the East Coast! At least then you will have experienced large metro areas like Ottawa, TO, Edmonton, Calgary etc. and then you’ll experience the smaller metro and sub-urb east coast BY THE OCEAN!
Okay I am certainly going to stop trying to convince you to uproot your life and move here, but at least you’ll experience it and you’ll see it
July 7, 2009 at 1:02 pm
This was an awesome post, I can SO relate!
I live in mid-way between suburbs/rural area. There are is no gym, no clothing stores, no Planet Organic etc We have a Superstore (Loblaws) Subway, Tim Hortons and a few gas stations. It’s anywhere between a 30-45 mins drive depending on what part of Halifax I want to get to. I’ll be completely honest and tell you that I miss living in the city. I grew up in the sticks and moved into the city 2 years after I graduated. I’m all for convenience. I miss having the gym 5 mins away,I find it annoying to drive 45 mins for Boot Camp sitting in horrible traffic on the bridge between Dartmouth & Halifax, (totally worth it though) same thing goes for anytime we want to go to a nice restaurant or even Walmart or Costco.
But our house is in beautiful area surrounded by lakes & the ocean. Lots of beaches, hiking trails, new schools and a yard for our future children to play in. Although in the Winter our road is one of the last to get plowed always.
There are advantages/disadvantages but overall I think I would give it all up and move somewhere warm!
July 7, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Well, I’m in Toronto, and you’ve been here, so what can I say! Everything is here (hm, although that includes high rent/mortgages). I am definitely a big city girl and love all that it has to offer. But I wanted to comment on YOUR comment about the “working”. I think it’s better to be happy than pushing for money. I gave up my marketing “career” (although truthfully I wasn’t happy in it, nor did I feel like I was very good at it) to go into the beauty industry, and while yes, at times I bitch about it, I’m much happier. Definitely took a pay cut, but I think my sanity was worth it.
July 7, 2009 at 1:37 pm
First of all – spruce beetles UGGH!! I lived “out west” (and slightly north like you) for about a year and wow – those things are creepy. I would have panic attacks when I saw them – they reminded me of the creatures from the Alien movies, and they sound like tiny helicopters when they are coming in for the kill!! Eek I hate them so much.
Anyways. I do understand some of where you’re coming from. The town I live in also lacks in certain areas of culture, shopping, entertainment and restaurants. Sometimes I really resent it. But, I also know that I don’t like living in the big city (been there, done that – got the hell out!). So sometimes I find myself torn – so to avoid getting angry or hopeless about it, I have to make sure I plan regular trips to the big city to get my “fix” of all the things I miss.
Now, maybe you really do belong in the big city? I dunno… for some visiting isn’t enough – for me it works.
July 7, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Well I grew up in a small town (900 people) and we definately didn’t have anything fun there. So everyone always talked about growing up and moving away, (funny how the ones who went on and on about it still live there…). Anyway, then I moved to “the city” for university (200,000? don’t really know!). We don’t have an Ikea, or any real designer stores. We only just got an Old Navy a few years ago! (had the same stores you listed, plus costco). People here talk about moving away the same as I heard in my small town. Yet to me, this is a much too large of a place! (so we moved to a smaller bedroom community! 5000 people!) Now we don’t have any dog parks or any stores really (a way over priced grocery store and a dollar store) but when we need stuff we run to the city. Plus when we REALLY need stuff, we run to Edmonton for Ikea!
If we had everything we needed right out our door, then we would never go anywhere I’m pretty sure.
Now, I do understand that Fort Mac is a whole ‘nother can of beans. I don’t think I could personally live there myself. I guess it depends on your jobs and goals. You’d be able to find a comparable house in most other cities I bet (isn’t FM way expensive now for housing?). Though it’s questionable whether you both could make the same kind of money in other cities.
Long comment to say I feel for you and have been there. It is most important to be happy, but locations really can’t do that for you.
July 7, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Hello: I’m YOU in B.C.
Fort Mac, Fort St. John, same town, different provinces
No, in all seriousness I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from. Obviously, as I lived the SAME life as you in FSJ. HATED it. No restaurants, nothing to do, cold, work town, oilfield town, etc.
There are things I LOVE about living in Kamloops, now. I love that we’re so close to Vancouver, I love that there’s so many beautiful hiking and running trails, I love that we are within an hours drive of over 200 lakes!
Something I don’t love? Being MILES away from my close friends and family. Yes, I’m making new friends and we’re making a new life here BUT it’s not the same. When my mom calls and says that they’re all going over to my aunts for a big, spontaneous bbq I feel a huge twinge of sadness that we’re not there, and that we couldn’t be there if we wanted to because it’s a days drive! There are times when I feel so incredibly lonely here it’s not even funny.
Also, another thing that hit us HARD when we moved away was the fact that it’s a lot different finding a job in other places. I’m sure you know this since you are older and wiser than me and have lived in Lethbridge. But Eric and I were totally naive and didn’t realize how LUCKY we were in FSJ. There were TONS of jobs at our disposal, and then we came down here and there were NONE. I agree with you that money IS NOT happiness, and if you are feeling that down no amount of money will make you feel better, but it is hard when you can’t find a job. My only recommendation would be secure a job before you move anywhere, it will save you a lot of stress! I HATED Kamloops the first four months we lived here for the simple fact that I was homesick and we were trying SO hard to find a job for Eric but there was NOTHING!
Anyways, I LOVE that I got out of FSJ and I absolutely agree that you need to get out of Fort Mac for awhile, especially if you’re starting to feel bitter towards it. I don’t regret moving away from FSJ one bit, and I tell Eric all the time that I don’t want to move back RIGHT after I graduate next year. I want to live a few other places first. BUT I know in my heart that I will probably end up there, or somewhere close to there (GP, maybe?) because I HATE being so far from my family!
Can’t wait to hear what big plans you have in store! XO
PS: Sorry this comment is so freaking long!!
July 7, 2009 at 11:14 pm
Oh girl – the title of this post reminds me so much of that book I’m reading, “Love the one you’re with” and what you wrote is very similar – but talking about where you live vs who you love.
Anyway – I had a lot of family that lives up there and I have heard the struggles of the distance. It is quite small there as it is primarily a city of WORK, so that doesn’t leave a lot of room for leisure. That damn highway to come back and forth.. the horrors of it……. My cousin would drive in to Etown every weekend so her son could visit his grandmother, and so they could shop, etc.
For someone working there it would be so hard to part with the ‘easy money’ as they say – but at the same time, it could be gone in an instant.
I have never met you but I sense that you are a big-city girl at heart. I know how appreciative you are about what you HAVE but what a challenge it must be to struggle with the not feeling 100% about where you’ve planted your roots.
And OMG Fort Mac is CRAZY, REDICULOUSLY expensive compared to almost anywhere else. With all of the money rolling around there, businesses CAN charge an arm and a leg. (I swear I even heard of people working at Tims making $18+ an hr wage…. INSANE!)
I hope you & your man can find a common ground where both you and he can feel fulfilled. It ain’t easy though.
xoxoxoxo
July 8, 2009 at 12:41 am
i am with you girl – i know there are advantages and disadvantages to everything, but i am a city girl all the way. a big city girl. i would love to move to NYC actually. i love TO because there is always something to do, always a new restaurant, tons of shopping, even cool places to just walk around and hang out. we have beaches, amusement parks, fireworks, a pretty skyline, lots of places to take lessons (art, sewing, knitting, sports, etc. ) and i could go on and on forever.
July 8, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Hello… followed a link from Amber’s site and I can totally relate. I’m in the States, but I grew up in SUCH A freaking small town and wanted out out out. Went to the largest state university in our state for 2 years, but dad pulled the free college funding, so I moved home for a semester and went to a college 45 minutes away from my parents and moved into an apartment there. Semi-big city, not all that safe. Got married and hubby and I decided to buy a house. He had a job, I did not. At the time I said I didn’t care if I could find a job in my field (I was burned out) but now I am sooo resenting it. I am 1 and a half years out of college and I’ve only used my degree in A JOB for about 6 months and it was temp position and did not pay well. I am 10 minutes from my SMALL home town in a medium size town but we live in the country. No friends near my house/neighborhood (the two I had just moved). All of my friends from growing up are moved to other states. I ALWAYS ALWAYS wanted to move to another state/big city for my 20s. Instead, I am out here UNEMPLOYED feeling like the worlds biggest loser. I can relate, and sorry to dump MY story on your wall the first time I ever read your blog. Just could relate.
July 10, 2009 at 2:21 am
Hey Jen, a little commenting…took a while to get back into regualr blogging following my crazy end of summer session…anyhow, I love and miss St. John’s like crazy. I grew up in a tiny fishing village on the Northern Peninsula (way too small and isolated, great place to visit but would NEVER live there), but lived in St. John’s for 7 years. I love the ocean, nothing like a salt breeze…lol. I also love the culture, it has a small town feel with all the amneities you need from a city.
I am enjoying Halifax as well. I think it is the perfect sized city and since it’s connected to the mainland it’s much easier (and cheaper) to travel and I still get my ocean air and east coast culture