Diary of a Real Girl

I picked this title because this would ordinarily be my sabotage day…what is a sabotage day?? Funny you should ask

Every time that I feel like I will buckle down and “do it” – I ALWAYS sabotage myself mid-week. I am not sure if it’s because I feel like because I have been doing so well that I feel the need to sabotage, or usually its because I step on the scale, see that I have been doing well/badly and throw caution to the wind and either reward myself, or if I was doing badly, just say “eff it”.

This morning I stepped on the scale and saw a pretty decent number…especially since I really have only been “back in the game” for about two days. And today I had the opportunity to sabotage myself because we were going out for lunch for a coworkers birthday.

Anyway, given the opportunity, I decided “eff it” – I did NOT put in all this hard work this week AND before to throw it down the drain. I ordered a grilled chicken pita with a side of tomato soup. When the meal came, they had my soup on the side and had added fries to the plate. This would ordinarily be a moment where I would say “screw it” and eat all the fries. But I DIDN’T!!!! I counted out 8 fries (good ones of course) and those were all I ate, and I counted them all!

Seriously, it feels good to have control again…last night I decided that I didn’t need TWO smokies – so I only had one but had a couple more fries. Then I decided to wait until later to have dessert because I had to run to my Dad’s. I DIDN’T get a chance to do the 30 day Shred – I know, that’s pretty bad. But instead i pulled out the Wii Fit for 45 minutes (super hula, advanced step and boxing – and about 6 minutes of balance followed by a couple of yoga poses). I also played around with EA Active a little bit as well and decided to do the 30 day challenge on that. So I DO feel like I got in a bit of activity.

OH and dessert. So I postponed dessert and was going to have a cupcake when I got home (leftovers from my friends’ wedding) but then I was like “well, i have had a LOT of cupcakes lately” (between the two weddings) and I would have to guesstimate, so instead I grabbed a small cone from McDonald’s on the way home from my dad’s. Not the BEST choice, but seriously, I felt like I was treating myself and I TOTALLY fit it into my day!! It felt like a bit of an indulgence without taking it too far!

Today’s Menu:

Breakfast: same old – 2 pcs toast, 1 Tbsp light pb, 1 cup milk (I NEED to stop sleeping late!)

Lunch: Chicken pita, 1 cup tomato soup w/2 crackers, 8 french fries

Snack: Apple and single serving Edam cheese, possibly 100 cal Sweet and Salty bar if I have to wait long at the doctors office.

Dinner: Beef stew and 2 biscuits (YUM!)

Dessert: 100 Cal Oreo ice cream bar