I commented on a post the other day (actually, I think it more like a week or two ago – the days are melting together) on Kyla’s blog about “normal being boring” – I think I have a slightly misguided view on what is “normal”. Kyla responded to my comment about “normal” (for her) is having the chance to relax with a cup of tea and to channel her creativity (sorry, I am not quoting it exactly, I am going based on memory because I can’t access the email from work!).

So anyway, that got me thinking…I don’t “relax” well…those who know me, know that I am pretty high strung, VERY hyper and I like to worry about things…sometimes I make a big deal out of nothing just to have a chance to worry about it…that’s weird right??

I feel like normal, for me, means boring. It means doing absolutely nothing, because I don’t think I have ever felt “normal”. There is ALWAYS some crisis or drama in my family (WAY too much) and there is just always something that needs to be discussed or planned…or maybe there isn’t, maybe I just feel there is!

Just this morning I was emailing my BF complaining that I felt spread thin already this week…um, it’s TUESDAY ANNNND I have a long weekend coming up…

And REALLY – as far as my “To Do” list goes I have to: work on some homework, get an assignment or 2 done, work out at least 4 times within the next week, and clean my house.

Considering I have a WEEK to do this…I am FAIRLY certain that I can make it all work out…actually…I know this FOR SURE.

So this week (is it counterproductive to make goals to relax??? whatever) I plan on taking some “me” time…I am not sure if this will be to read a book, take more baths, make a card for someone special or work on my knitting…either way, it’s going to be something that I want to do and something that makes ME feel good doing it!

Oh yeah, I learned how to knit this weekend and am working on making a scarf/neck warmer because I loved Kyla’s neck warmers so much and figured, why buy one would you could win one *fingers crossed* or make one yourself! Yeah…the only problem is that knitting stresses me out a little too…I am still BRAND new at it and I have dropped a couple of stitches by accident and just had a couple of flaws and whatnot…those make me really sad and stress me out because it isn’t perfect…then my husband laughs at me because I have been knitting for what, 3 days now and I am complaining?? I think he is right…

So what do you do to relax??? Give me some suggestions of what work for you and maybe I will try them myself!!

I still don’t feel that “stress relief” but I imagine it will come!!! I have been dealing with it for 2 months, so it is about freaking time!!!  Yes, and now I don’t really have anything else to deal with on it…so maybe that is my problem??? I have nothing left to freak out about at the time??

Anyway, I struggled a little bit last night…AND a little bit today…I find sometimes that life and weight watching can get in the way of each other…it’s just finding that balance again…i still feel confident and I have a fabulous goal…i am thinking i might put pictures of my bridesmaids dresses on the fridge??? Might help with a few things!

I still have a few days ahead of me in the week, so I know I can get back on track and still do great!!

Tonight I am doing P90 with my friends after work…I was talking to a woman at work about the videos and she told me I shouldn’t be doing them because they are made for athletes and what not…I looked it up and I really don’t find anything that says that, besides, even in the videos he encourages the viewer to modify the workout if they can’t do something, so that’s why I do…I wouldn’t over work myself and cause injury so I don’t know…I find some people try to talk others out of succeeding…you know? Not trying to take a negative spin on it, in this situation this person often comments on the things I am doing…it’s just her way I guess…

I am also really sad because my cat broke my watch last night!!! He jumped on the counter where my watch was (I took it off while cooking, I always do) and he batted it off the counter…it landed face first on the ceramic tile and smashed the crystal…so I know what I will be doing this weekend!!! It will be a good excuse to get my other watches in working order as well (seriously, I have a couple others and the batteries in them have been dead for almost 2 years – since I got the other watch!)

So yeah…I guess I need to get started on my weekend to do list already!! Plus this is my last weekend to do the p90 videos with my friends for about 2 weeks! (EEK!) so I need to get those together so I can do them while they are gone!!

It was weird, I went searching through my old blog to find a picture of something and I just ended up reading a few posts from 2 summers ago…wow! I am shocked at how much I have changed since then! I have a new-found cynicism and the negativity that floats around me now…and I 100% think that is being dragged into all aspects of my life.

So I could sit around and bitch and complain like the new me wants to, or I could enjoy the things that are coming…or hell, happening around me RIGHT NOW.

Generally I am a pretty happy person, I have a lot of good things in my life, I just don’t think I stop to smell the proverbial roses. I think a GREAT part of my unhappiness stems from my current work situation, but wait a minute, that’s changing, so why dwell right? This is one time when I will let myself look ahead instead of enjoying the NOW.

I still feel a bit scattered since I got home from my trip but all the hectic stuff is starting to calm down and I am so looking forward to next week! I am finished here on Wednesday, then I have Thursday and Friday off (WOOT!) where I don’t really have much planned – a couple of trips to the gym, working on my course a little, a waxing appointment, and a lunch, which might sound like a lot, but it really isn’t!! Then it is a long weekend!! So I get the husband for 3 whole days (I miss him after spending all last week together day in and day out) AAAAAANNNNNNDDDDD it’s VALENTINE’S DAY!!!  I seriously love Valentine’s Day!! (Yes, I am a sick individual!). This years plan is Heart Shaped Pizza at BPs (this is our tradition, this will be our 9th V Day together!) and then we are going to see “Confessions of a Shopaholic”. I invited our good friends along because, well, because a) they are great friends and b) they are so in love and it’s infectious!! Valentine’s is a time to be all cuddly and smoochy and I don’t think either of us mind if the other couple is being lovey dovey, so I think it will be a good night!!

Also, the past couple of days I have been trying something new. A few weeks ago Carolyn mentioned that she put on her MP3 player and danced her heart out…I love that kind of thing, but just haven’t done it in forever! So when I got home on Monday I plugged my iPod into the dock and shook my booty while I made dinner! I did the same last night while I prepared a salad for a dinner at our friends place…and honestly, I just felt loose and relaxed afterwards!! got rid of all my stresses from the day!!!

I need to try incorporating Yoga into my day more often (EVERYBODY is into Yoga these days aren’t they?) and I have this really cool iPod app where you can choose your program and it shows the poses on the screen!! *squeal* SO cool!

I also am going to take a little extra time to figure out my meal plans!! I find that I have just let them fall by the wayside and eat whatever whenever…that doesn’t really work that way right?

****And how could I forget to mention!!! It’s my husbands birthday today!!! So Happy Birthday Darling! (I am going to bake him a cake and cook him spaghetti when I go home…I am a fabulous wife ;p)